My Idiot Neighbour
Our houses here are narrow, very narrow. All of the driveways on our street are 18 feet wide and about 22 feet long before you hit the street. With 2 cars in the driveway, you really don’t have a lot of snow to shovel, even with a good snow storm.
Enter my neighbour, the idiot. The guy purchased a $1200 snowblower for doing that little patch of area. He also plows out two other people (and no I am not one of them nor do I want to be) so that he can feel like a big man of the street.
I am not an environmentalist however he ran that two-stroke snow blower for a good hour, mostly shooting the breeze with others rather than plow out the snow. I went outside and in 10 minutes had my driveway, sidewalk and deck shoveled. The amount of exhaust and “carbon” that blew out of that snow-blower is a waste.
What they say is true, you can’t pick your neighbours unless you own all the land around you.
2010 predictions…
Filed under: General, Government, Humour, News, Politics, Travel, United States
Yes, New Years is just a few days away so I have decided to jump on the bandwagon and predict a few things myself. Hey, even I have the tin-foil hat to match!
In 2010 (and in no particular order)…
There will be no Election Federally. The Liberal Party will continue to languish on the sidelines while Iffy remains predictable. Expect 2010 to be the last year of Iffy’s reign.
Frank McKenna will again say he’s not interested in the Leadership of the Liberal Party.
Stephen Harper will remain Prime Minister. Look for a reprise behind the piano singing “Day in a Life”.
Bob Rae will still be Bob Rae (Socialist in Liberal Clothing) and all that that entails.
Provincially, Dalton McLiar’s Liberals will win the two by-elections because Ontario voters are sheep.
Ontario will remain a “have-not” province.
Newfie Jokes will officially be renamed Ontario Jokes.
On July 1st, 2010 we will have the BST/HST/DST whatever you want to call it, because you can tax people into prosperity no?
Tim Hortons will raise the price of their crappy coffee again.
Canadian Tire will continue to have that annoying slogan and music on all of their commercials, and yet I still cannot buy just one bolt, I have to buy a package of 20.
I will finally finish the front deck to our house.
2010 will ring forth a new swath of celebrity deaths that will make people realize how empty their lives are by following these celebrities. They will be sad at their deaths and say things like, “Wow I didn’t see it coming.” Then these people will find new celebs to follow and life will be good again.
Tiger Woods will be divorced. Elin Woods will be rich.
Britney Spears will have another breakdown and shave her head again.
Another Twilight movie will come out boring millions of husbands, subjecting them to hours of mind-numbing stupidity.
Johnny Cash will still be dead. So will John Wayne.
Some unknown idiot with way too much time on their hands and no job will grab a video camera and upload something so stupid onto Youtube that millions will view it and love it.
Some new web site will come on the scene that will make Facebook and MySpace obsolete and yet be so stupid that people miss the time wasting site Twitter.
2010 will be the new 1985 with every one-hit wonder from 1985 being remixed by someone in 2010 because originality in music died around 1985.
On December 30th, 2010 I will write another blog posting predicting 2011 and seeing how wrong I was about 2010. I really hope I am wrong about 2010.
Happy New Years everyone, don’t forget not to talk on your cell while driving, always eat your veggies and remember your manners. - Phil
Hmm…
“Maybe if I am looking down, they wont notice my tax grab…”
Talk like Yoda
This is pretty cool; http://www.yodaspeak.co.uk/index.php
It takes anything you say and turns it into Yoda-speak. To test this out, I thought… Why not a song from Moxy Früvous.
King of Spain by Moxy Früvous - As spoken by Yoda
The king of spain (now I eat humble pie), once I was.
Oh… My unspeakable wife, queen lisa (now I eat humble pie).
Telling you I was the king of spain (now I eat humble pie) I am.
And now I work at the pizza pizza.
Royalty, it looked good on me lord.
Buried in silk in the royal boudoir or going nuclear free.
Or with the princess of monaco playing crokinole.
To the opec leaders telling my jokes, it all on video getting.
The king of spain (now I eat humble pie) I once was.
Palatial palace, my home (now I eat humble pie), that was.
Telling you I was the king of spain (now I eat humble pie), am I.
And now I vacuum the turf at skydome (once, the king of spain), was he.
Wait, I cannot wait, lowering interest rates, am I, my people say:
“King, how such a genius are you, hmm?
Roof overhead and food on our plates, there is!”
Laisez-faire, it is laisez-faire, give a care I even not.
Make friday part of the weekend, let us.
And give every new baby a chocolate eclair.
The king of spain (now I eat humble pie), once I was.
Hey clinton! Hey yeltsin! Got problems, hmm? Me (now I eat humble pie) you phone.
Telling you I was the king of spain (now I eat humble pie), I am.
The king of spain), now the leafs call me up to drive the zamboni (once he was.
Probably wondering how I cam to be living in canada, now some of you are.
After being royalty in spain. Should I tell them, guys, hmm?
Tell us, king! Hmmmmmm.
You see late one night when the palace was asleep.
Of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep out.
And I wait till the appointed time, when lighting the pitch, the moon is.
At which point my peasant friend, like me who looks just.
Arrives and, a switch, make we.
Prince and pauper, junior and whopper.
Of silver and copper world made up.
Of my own volition out, of position I took a change.
So you drool in the pizza line next time.
Remember, slower pizza’s more luscious.
Of spain never rushes the king!!!
Once, the king of spain (now I eat humble), was I.
Looking for off-handed ways to improve us (now I eat humble pie), was I.
Telling you I was the king of spain (now I eat humble pie), am I.
And jamming with moxy frvous, now I am! The king of spain, (once he was). Yes, hmmm.
Finally people are getting it. Screw Toronto
First John Baird, federal Transport Minister tells Toronto to F-Off, now Dalton McGuinty, Premier of Ontario does the same.
http://www.thestar.com/unassigned/article/661841
In the article it says that McGuinty has told everyone to solve their own problems. This from the man who knows how to say F-You to a lot of Ontarians (Health Tax, BST).
In this case, Rightly so. Toronto residents voted in David Miller and then re-elected the man. The guy is THE most left-leaning Mayor of Toronto EVER. He has given the unions everything in their demands when times were good. Now that times are not so rosy, he cannot understand why the Union wont cave on their demands.
Meanwhile Toronto Stinks! - Something I’ve been saying for years.
Message to Toronto Residents: Next year, DON’T put an X beside the name Miller.
Bet you wished you still had Mel Lastman around… NOOOOOOOooooOOOObody! 
Canadian Terrorists must be stopped!
They are responsible for attacks on US aircraft including a recent attack downing a Boeing 767. They flock to parks, defile green spaces and are responsible for the biological attacks on our rivers and waterways.
They are known as Branta canadensis, and they are unfeeling KILLERS. The Canadian Government is paralyzed with fear, unable or unwilling to act; Same with the Ontario government. There are initiatives from local governments like Cornwall involving dogs running in parks, but it doesn’t solve the big problem. Activists keep supporting these murdering fiends with their pacifist ways and massive fund raising, all in the name of the “environment”.
These “branta” are sullying the peaceful reputation that Canada has in the world. First we have plane crashes blamed on these Canadian thugs, next the Americans will blame the cold weather on us.
The madness has to stop! It’s us or them and we need to take a stand. Stop these “Geese” before they kill again.