The Liberals have had it right all along. Harper has a secret evil agenda and I found out what it is…

I was watching CBC Newsworld this morning and saw the unveiling of something fierce at a rally in Saint John, New Brunswick. More fierce than an endorsement from Bernard Lord, more gruesome than Elsie Wayne.

Harper’s plan is Dildos.

That’s right Canada, portable, inflatable dildos for all. Currently they are being passed out at rallies for the purpose of making noise because the act of smacking one hand against the other is too much like work. However once elected, they will be mailed out to every person over the age of 18. That way Harper can give it to us, and be fair about it. White or not, Rich or poor, the Harperdildo fits all.

They are inflatible, therefore portable and discrete, but ready to be inserted at a moments notice.

So when you go to the polls on Jan.23, remember that no matter who you vote for, your gonna get screwed, just Harper is a little more prepared for that personal connection.