Order out of Chaos is a motto of some level in the Masonic Lodge. That’s probably one of those secrets that you’re not suppose to know unless you’re a member. I googled the phrase “Order out of Chaos” because I’d heard it somewhere. The flipped motto might be appropriate for me. More specifically, the chaos and disorder of last minute.
I had an idea a few weeks ago. I enjoy having the lightbulb go off. It warms the bald spot on the top of my head. This idea was for the soccer league I am president of, to do fundraising for some other organization – in this case the food bank. From start to finish, the whole thing from what the idea was to crafting the web page and email to everyong about it was done. I am sure the idea wasn’t original, but for this area it was. Wheeeee and I was off. Weeks later, when it was weigh in time and to count out the money, I had some help from a few people. Everything worked like I planned. So why was I nervous about it messing up?
Giving second thought to a plan isn’t really my style, at least when my brain needs a dopamine hit. “Hey Phil, what about this?” usually illicits “already let’s go.” Professionally its how I end up getting some interesting news stories. Why not ask someone a question? Who cares if that person has money/status/power? Who cares if it pisses off someone asking the question? Answers must be had! As Stan Lee would say “Excelsior!” (note, I am not a comic book guy by any means and couldn’t tell you the difference between a Marvel and DC Comics movie – but I did watch a documentary on Stan Lee once, and he was cool!)
The nervousness about messing up is that little voice in my head that suffers from imposter syndrome. It’s one thing for an old man to flip the bird at you and tell you to fuck off – that’s expected. Imposter Syndrome is you being the old man and yelling at yourself. That fear of messing up can make me not want to do things, or to focus so much on the doing of the things, to annoy others by micromanaging.
It’s a problem. I live in my head half the time. Sometimes even big ideas can’t dislodge Waldroff and Statler from the guest box in my brain.
Something to read — Colour and Tone by Michael Freeman. Freeman is one of my favourite photographers. This book is the third in his masterclass series on photography. Only annoying part is he is from the UK and English, yet his book title spells Colour C-O-L-O-R! Wrong. It’s C-O-L-O-U-R. Damn it!
Here is a link to the book. https://www.amazon.ca/Michael-Freeman-Color-Tone-Photography/dp/1781578710
Something to watch — I am a big fan of UK comedian Nigel Ng and his “Uncle Roger” character. More specifically, his character ripping chefs making food in videos. Even more specifically, white chefs messing up Asian food. It’s hilarious. Here’s one of Uncle Roger critiquing Rachel Ray.
Something to listen to — Random songs on Youtube brought this gem. House of Pain – Jump Around
Final thought — Did you miss me? I took a two week break from updating this platform, largely because I kept forgetting. We’ll say I was on holidays. What’s a holiday? My final thought is this… Stop and try to get into the moment and out of your head. When you figure out how to do it, please tell me.