Driving into a parking lot the other day, I may have muttered some inappropriate language. It was a small parking area, not really a lot at all – enough for two cars. Or at least it should have been, except the person already there decided his Chevy was too important to allow others to park around him. It was parked straddling the two parking spaces.
For some, this is a slight inconvenience and they will find somewhere else. Others might have been inclined to park beside the Chevy anyway – creating a third new spot complete with dirty looks at the inconsiderate driver. Either way, this speaks to an ongoing issue in society today – people are forgetting how to park a vehicle properly. In fact, I will go so far as to say that how a person parks is a reflection of what kind of person that driver is.
I am all for out of the box thinking and being creative – except when it comes to parking. It’s not that difficult. Park between the lines. The lines are there to guide drivers on where to park.
This sounds like it is a really small issue, but I guarantee you this is indicative of a wider social commentary.
A person, let’s call him a Chevy driver, parks across two parking spaces. What does that say about the person? It says to me that he doesn’t care who he inconveniences. He thinks only about himself first and damn everyone else. That attitude may indeed carry through into other parts of his life.
A person who parks between the lines is someone who likes order and follows the rules of the road – which for parking is entirely appropriate.
On a recent trip to a big box Swedish retailer, I saw one of the most creative parking jobs ever, six spaces taken up by one Tesla. How did this happen? The driver centered the Tesla across the dividing line of spaces that face each other. In a social statement of their own, some shoppers left their empty carts around the Tesla to let them know what they thought of the driver’s creative parking.
Parking in the local shopping plaza is an exercise in creativity as well. A poorly-designed repaint seven years ago has faded, as have the lines covering the previous design. Both are equally visible. That’s great if you want to play tic-tac-toe on the parking lot, not good if people try to play that with their vehicles. Often there are cars parked across areas that are supposed to be through lanes for traffic.
Not that lines matter much even if they can be seen. Areas marked in yellow paint with diagonal lines typically mean one cannot park in that spot. Except in this plaza it will attract the largest SUV possible with its back bumper hanging out into traffic. Some areas have no lines at all, meaning drivers just stop their vehicles where they want and take their chances. All vehicles carry collision insurance, right?
Some parking spots are geographic vortexes, where the driving rules of other countries apply. The street parking in front of the local post office follows the traffic laws of the United Kingdom. People park the right way for the UK, the wrong way for the rest of Canada. Pip! Pip! Cheerio!
Now I know what you’re likely thinking; what if there are no lines? Imagine how wide your vehicle is, and only take up that amount of space. Start from the outside edge, and leave some room for others. If there is a wall or a barrier in front of you, try to square your vehicle to that barrier if possible. If you can pass a driving exam, you should be able to park a car. It’s on the same test!
Some people back their vehicles into parking spaces, and can maintain an almost perfect alignment parallel to the dividing lines. I am sure those people have some great matchstick ship models in their basements too. That’s way too finicky for me. Just stay between the lines.
I’ve always wanted to leave one of those colouring pages on someone’s windshield when I see a bad parking job, inviting that car’s driver to try to stay between the lines for a change. It’s a nice thought for a daydream, but I continue on, not having done so.
Poor parking is a plague on society. Poor parking is a reflection on the decline of western civilization. If people can’t park a vehicle properly, what’s next? Be courteous, watch where you park, and stay between the lines.
This column was originally published in the May 1, 2024 print edition of the Morrisburg Leader.