Wanderings – Looking for a place to happen

This is not an issue unique to one rural community; rather, it is common to many rural communities across the country — a place to hang out. Having raised four children successfully to adulthood, this is something I’ve seen too much of.

Unless you have your kids in a specific sport or interest, there are few — if any — places for kids to just hang out. A place to gather that is reasonably safe, doesn’t cost much if anything, and doesn’t require some obligation.

Usually, in rural communities, there are youth groups of some sort; however, most are tied to organized religious groups or service organizations. Those are not bad places by any means, but they are usually looking for some sort of tie or commitment to that organization. School-oriented groups or activities — if available — are tied to that specific school. And while some schools make every effort to include everyone, not all do.

Organized sports are great, but usually siloed to just people taking part in that activity. The same is true with many municipal services — tied to that activity. All lack the openness that allows for kids to just get together and do stuff in the same place. Kids, and specifically teens, need a place to happen. Thinking about this, however, it isn’t just teens that need a place to happen — it’s us adults too.

For parents, much of our social lives when raising kids are focused on that kid-centric social system. Often, you are friends with the parents of your kid’s friends. When at soccer matches or hockey games, you commiserate with fellow sports parents. If your kids are in Air Cadets, drama programs, or dance lessons, you meet, talk with, and are friends with the parents sitting on the side or by the door waiting for your kids.

When the kids leave the nest for college or to go out into the world on their own, the parents lose that associated connection.

If you happen to find yourself in with specific interests, great. But that doesn’t always happen.

There are initiatives out there which look interesting, but are often tailored in rural centres towards seniors. The local hospice has started a Men’s Shed — which is a great idea but still tied to a specific group or issue.

In larger urban centres, solutions for kids and adults alike are out there — or at least there are more options. Bookstores, coffee shops, “maker spaces,” and the like all become places to hang out. They are designed for that, and maybe, in the case of the coffee shop or bookstore, you’ll buy something. There are also opportunities to explore new interests. The larger the community, the greater the opportunities.

So what is the solution? Many rural communities have community buildings or centres. Where I live, we have six municipal buildings, four schools, and three library branches. Most of these buildings are open for limited hours for use. Some of those spaces require the rigorous jumping through bureaucratic machinery to book or use. Most of the time, when not open for their primary function of school, municipal governance, or literacy, the spaces are closed to everyone. A solution here would be to have some space open just to meet. People would have to be responsible to use it, and maybe this is the reason why there aren’t a lot of places to do this sort of thing right now.

There are plenty of vacant commercial locations where I live where someone could open a coffee place, a bookstore, or a combination coffee-and-book shop. In our age of online orders and convenience-based shopping, I doubt someone would take the financial risk of opening such a place.

There is a real need for this connection. Study after study points to our need for real connections with others, especially in our digital “always-connection” society, if for nothing else but our mental health. Personal connections are needed.

To paraphrase a Canadian rock group, we just need a place to happen — maybe with a few stops along the way too.

This column was originally published in the November 19, 2025 print edition of the Morrisburg Leader.