Wanderings – Is technology making us too connected?

Canadian academic and philosopher Marshall McLuhan once wrote about technology that “we shape our tools, and thereafter our tools shape us.” What he meant by this is that we create tools to do things, but those tools ultimately influence or change our own behaviours.

My wife and I were playing a game with our two youngest kids, where part of the task was to dial a number on a rotary phone. The game was on our cell phones, with my wife, me, and one of our sons in our dining room. Another son was playing remotely from his college dorm. Isabell and I were the quickest in the game and won that question, as these are the phones we used as kids. While our kids have seen a rotary phone, even using a digital simulation of dialling on the screen was a challenge. It reminded me of how fast technology has changed, and continues to change.

In 1986, I was 10 and my then best friend Stephen moved far away, to Montréal. We tried to keep in contact using the conventional means, letters and a very occasional phone call. That lasted a few months but fizzled. We’ve never talked since. If that had happened with the technology we have now, it would be like he never moved.

On a near daily basis, we’re in contact with all four of our adult kids, one of whom lives on another continent. At the tap of a screen, I can talk to my friends in Tennessee, Ottawa, or Niagara, anytime I want. Calls to Europe cost nothing but an internet connection.

When I was 17, I was an early user of the internet where it cost $50/month for 60 hours of service. For less than that now, I have unlimited internet, calling, text messaging and voice mail – I am connected everywhere. With that connection, even my stove, washer, and the home thermostat can be controlled remotely from anywhere in the world even if I’m not there.

It is not difficult to call, email, text, or message me – or nearly anyone else. Many of us are nearly always on or connected to our phones. Sure, some of it is work avoidance like checking out comedy or recipe videos on Instagram, but not all. My work email goes off every 10 minutes, personal email every five, and messages as they happen. The only time I get regular phone calls is from my wife, my parents, or from scammers saying “The Visa is compromised for the Amazon order of an iPhone 13.” (I always press ‘2’ and vent my frustrations of the day at the scammers.)

All this connection has me thinking though, like McLuhan said, of the tools we’ve shaped, now shaping us. Just because we are connected or have the potential of being connected, doesn’t mean we should be. Is being too connected a bad thing?

In being too connected, or connected all the time, there is little passage of time between talking to people. Not all people. There are some people out there I’d be happy to never hear from again. But for many, this too connected thing is a bit worrying. There is little time for things to happen when you are in frequent contact. Talking to people every day means little happens that is new – leaving less to talk about.

Having the need to connect, and the ability to connect, without necessarily the events or time pass to have things to talk about, leads to the over-emphasis of the importance of some events.

Do you ever default to talking about the weather? It used to be I did that only when talking to my in-laws as it was one of the safe topics to discuss. Now… if less time passes between talking, and fewer events happen to talk about between the times you talk, boring or mundane things are elevated to talking points when they shouldn’t be.

I have put some limits in for myself. My work email only checks on my phone during work hours, unless I hit the magic button. And I use the “Do Not Disturb” feature on my phone often when trying to work or get some things done at home. It takes a lot of willpower though.

Overusing the tools we have created has – in my opinion – made us dependent on them. McLuhan was right again.

This column was originally published in the December 10, 2025 print edition of the Morrisburg Leader.